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bad day

today's a very bad day for me, me actually not recovered from fever that i have yesterday, but still i go to my mom's shop and help her. my first task, count the stock, damn, this thing supossed to be done by my bro yesterday, duh, he's going to hell tonight, damn, then, my head started to spinning around, my breath is hard to take, my kidney in pain, my vision started to blurring, duh, what happen? straightaway me taking nap about 2 hours, and thankfully, all of it recovered except the pain on my kidney. its hard for me to sit, but i still manage to go on ove it, then, 3 hours later, again my head started like spinning and my vision too, duh, but it not worst like before, i still manage to drive, my mom start to lecturing me about my health, bla bla bla, but when i think about it, hey, its cool! maybe i can die soon! i can leave this fucking cool world without suicide, damn, i hope i can suicide now, done 3 times but always fail, but now, i never want to suicide again, its hurt, and also, what going to happen to me in baqa'? i know im going to hell, but i never want to stay forever there, ok? at least im still muslim, hehe, ok? adios!
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