.::when a liar writes::.

i started to hate writing here, damn, i don't know why, for some reason, i hate to do everything, what i want to do now, i want to be in a car driving to a beach, and being alone, smoking, staring the waves emotionless, don't care about time, people, everything, i want to be alone from people who knows me, damn, i hope i can have that moment.... this month, a lot of my friend have birthday in this month, happy birthday guys, speaking about it, i remember about my birthday present, my best birthday present, is in 2003, really a sweet present, but damn, i lost it somehow... on 2004, i got the worst birthday present, that i regret to have it earlier, no, i regret to have it, heh, maybe u already know who you are, but, to be more specific, the person that gave me those present have same birthday this month, u know who you are.... and, happy birthday!

i think i blow up my interview, damn, and i hate to talk about it now, sooner or later you gonna know how's im doing, i want to write a bout someone, but then, i think its enough for me to write about them, enough for me to write bad about them, i had enough....

damn, i really what im gonna do, my spm result, my certificate all of it lost and im gonna have an interview this morning, seriously i don't know what im gonna do now, i hope my skills is enough for them to satisfy to take me as their employee, and please guys, pray for me to get this job, i really want this job, its either this job, or im going to do nothing at home; im not gonna take any job other than this.... maybe a some smoke gonna settle some of this night's pressure... good night

no new except today is the logest day me with my Mitsubishi space wagon, the only MPV in Kuantan, i mean that Mitsubishi la, heh, got to send my bro to their extra clases, send my friend to bus station, being a genie for a while, damn, too long until i didn't have much time to take my afternoon nap, heh, don't say u never have nap on Sunday afternoon? the only time you have some good body rest, try it, don't go out for shopping or dating that time, do it on the morning, you gonna get some good relaxation for next day, hey, your body need some rest laa, my advice, do your shopping or dating, or whatever on friday night and saturday, or at least on sunday morning, after lunch, get some good body position to digest properly, then, get some good nap, at least an hour, but, most propably, u gonna have more that 2 hours, u never know when u gonna wake up, heh, and, one more thing, switch off ur handphone, doorbell unplug ur telephone, and make sure u got ur body in nice, good position, urghh.... paradise.... adios!

heh, 3 days without any news from me, surely you guys miss me huh? hahaha, just kidding, i knows there's nobody gonna visit my blog everyday, heh, maybe ade kot, dunno? heh, i've not write anything for 3 days, surely there's a lot happen, heh, let see...

heh, i've got a job!! and, its with my dad, damn! i hate it! maybe its sound easy, but hey, typing isn't cool! yeah, i love everything about computers, but, typing is the part i hate about computers, ok? duhh, saba je la, but, what can i do anyway, unless i can get other job, i stuck in my dad's office, duhh... you know what i've got in mind? having a job at petrol pump, or in electronic factory, heh, its fun to have physical part time job than sitting in office, right?

yesterday, i go out with my friend to cinema, the aviator, damn, it was a cool movie! seriously you guys have to watch it in cinema, or at least, home teathedfa, that movie deserve all the award they got, damn, never regret it, eventho i want to see kung fu hustle, heh, so, go out and buy tickets for the movie guys, fast2 before it sold out! heh

nothing to write more, i don't smoke for 2 days already, need to Qada', heh, adios~

a great day to think, a great time to write, but spoilt with some fucking things that crash all my moods now, damn, im not writing today, maybe tomorrow, wish those guy die now....

damn, im getting older now, or its just me losing stamina? heh, having the most tired day isn't sound so cool, especially u do it for nothing, but, hey, at least im losing some boring today, right? today im help my friend searching for his computer parts(again?) for some upgrading, after walk and walk from one to one shop in hunger, at last we stop at a shop that gives us a good deal and even give us an option to trade in! duh, that's cool can save some money and then we walk away with some power goodies and go to mamak's and have our lunch, and perghhh, we sit at the best place in kuantan, beside 2 cool cute chicks that nobody can resist to not watch them, but we are not a cool macho guy (sedar pun!) to approach them to go out, so we just have our lunch with some awesome view and then out from there, after that, straight to my house to assembly the parts but can't test it at my house coz my monitor is too old to be use with a power pc, damn! wish i have a cool dad that have some knowledge in computer stuff, not just only know to flow money for useless stuff, duhh, he's cool coz aways buys new launched gadget but it all useless! there's no point to buy 2.0 megapixel camera early coz u can get 5.0 megapixel camera with the same price now! right? he should wait for some time and then buy it! but, hey, what can i do? he's my father and i have to respect him as my father, and at least he still talking with me now... eventhough there's a gap between us coz of my stupid fucking decision... compared to my mom, she created a large gap now and its not cool...... i wish i have someone to talk with now.... damn...

for the first time since im back to this hell, i wake up early, hahaha, thanks to my friend for inviting to go out today, free at last and not alone, heh, having breakfast and then go to my other friend's college to visit him, heh, damn, now i envy everyone! for having a nice place to study, heh, too late to regret, life goes on, and im back to the starting place, maybe im last to start, but, hey, im not gonna be the last to finish, ok? yeah, time wait for no one, but it never to late to make a change, right? i already plan for the future, so, watch out guys, you never know what im capable to do, ok? anyway, maybe im going to ipoh this thursday, to take my spm's certificate, my old one cannot be use so i have to take it from school, duh, its gonna be a long trip, boring.... now also boring.. damn!

today is nothing is nothing different than any other days, worst day, good day, everyday is same to me now since i moved back to this hell back, damn, just like in grave, alone and ignored, heh, that's what i survived everyday, just like tsunami victims, full of problem, but nowhere to go, same with me but only i have a good place to stay and it, alhamdullilah... human never satisfied for what they have, same like me, i want a perfect life, but when i have it, i want more, never satified and desperately want more, more, more and more! hahaha, one of my friend thinks i am an irritating person, always want attention and never thinks about somebody else, yeah, i am like that, but "never thinks about somebody else"? uh, i think you got me wrong, nigga, i ALWAYS think about someone else, the problem is, you never know what i've done, ok? and i don't think i want to talk all about it, im ain't in good mood, so don't mess with me, ok? yeah, me got nothing, but think! you got nothing in your ass also, asshole!

again, i still can't let my self from keep thinking about the tsunami victim, either the survivor or not, eventho im not one of the victim of it, but still... imagine how big the power of god could be, allahuakhbar! well, we still have our own problem to think about, right? its good to think about someone else, but, ourself is our big priority, there no use if we die because of someone else who didn't about us, right? no, i didn't mean about the tsunami victims, about people around us, like me, honestly, i still can't keep myself from keep thinking about my ex, and i hardly trying to forget about them, damn, its so hard especially when u love her so much, arghh! heh, im like an mad man now, i can't see people hugging, dating, and even saying certain words! its like taboo for me, i'll be like a mad cow if those 'taboo' shown, damn, seriously i need psychitarist, heh, whatever, maybe i should take my friends advice, search for a new girlfriend, but how? surely i'll dumped again! derhh, seriously i really don't know what to do, maybe i should be like this, huh?

i just watching a programme at 8tv just now, extreme makeover, damn, seriously, all those people are crazy! and desperate, seriously, i don't understand how in the hell people doing that? i making people like a car, hey, i suggest to change the show tittle to 'pimp my face' ! how's that? you guys makeover people like a car, so, its a good tittle, heh, eventho after those treatment girl/guys physical getting better, but your mental is still same! you're being somebody else! beauty just only for other's satisfaction, c'mon guys, think! if people love you because of your physical, its not a true love, its bullshit! your partner should love you because of inner you, not your body! duhh, i look like a shit and desperately need some operations, but i still have my mind on the right lane, im not a nut who will do anything for beauty...

duh, i miss to write yesterday, all coz a girl keep bugging me until 3, and i completely forgot (actually i pretend to forget, too malas to online maa) about it, heh, ok, now im going to write what im suppose to write yesterday, my dream life, yeah, its just a fantasy of my life, and i'll try my hard to achieve it, eventho its going to be very2 hard

first thing im going to have in my dream life, is a house, house of my own, got two rooms, a bathroom, living room and kitchen, and also equipt with 2 line ADSL and ASTRO, completely furnish with perfect modern urban interior designing, at least 5.1 audio system with amplifier, DVD, plasma HDTV, modded Xbox with wireless router, and SFF computer with wireless bluetooth keyboard and mouse, completely air conditioning and most important, a very good couch for me enjoying anime with surround audio system in my living room. my bedroom gonna equipt with another SFF computer with LCD projector connected to my computer room, good audio system, another TV, king size bed, and all basic things that suppose to be in a bed room. and in my computer room, at least there suppose to be 4 up to date computer (you know what i mean, pricey 4,000+) running 24 hours downloading all the stuff i need and a very good PC just for me to do y works, heh, i don't care if it an apartment, as long it suits me to live in, and don't care it located where, as long there a community there, but what i see now, it may in KL or JB

then i need a car, the car that suppose to have a big space, a very good audio system, not too fast, not too slow, very good looking. what across my mind, Honda Jazz. equipt with 17inch rims with spinners, neon light, spoiler, good airbrush, and all the thing that i suppose to be on my Jazz, heh

a job, i not think about it yet, maybe i can think about it next year, heh, but what i know, its going to be related to computers and very good salary, say, about 3,000? hahaha, anyway, for me, if all that achieved, my life is already perfect, and one more thing, at that time, a girl is luxury for me... adios!