.::when a liar writes::.

Seriously I'm confuse.. maybe I need to rename this blog to "when a confuse guy writes" or "a story of a confuse guy"? duhh, whatever xord, just write whatever you what to write. And I write some thrash again, I am crazy, haha. I'm bored, very bored. World Cup? Italians can be never be my favourite, and Aussie? Hell, they even confuse what is football. Germany is my fav. All time favourite, why? They play good football. Actually no, I'm admired them not because football. Hey, where's BMW's and Merc come from? And that's a very good cars. Fast & fierce, cool & crazy, and BMW M3 E46 is dream car. And yeah, car is cool than footbal for me la, but I still know much about football, not much but still can talk about it a little bit. And again, I write thrash again, haha

In my previous post, I mentioned about I hating my own dad. Why? I'll tell about it later, but first, let me tell me some story. My childhood life is not very bad, neither very good. Just okay. I've got what I want to do and its very good. My dad never teach me do things, as I can do it myself. My dad give me works, and I'll settled it in no time. And I've got to do it perfectly, as he's going to be very furious if im not doing like he wanted. And for some facts, my dad is a hot head, eventhough its just for a while, you never want to mess up with him. So that's how my childhood life was like. But I never blame him for that, as that's me now, a very independent person.

About last two month, one of my friends father's pass away. And for some reason, I'm curious. How everyone talked about him when he's still alive. How good he is. How bad he pass away. And even when my friend going out for TT, he talked a lot, I mean A LOT about his father. He told me about how good his father is, teaching a lot about life, how to drive, how to do that, to do this. And then, I compared his father and my dad.. what's more and less. Yeah, my dad provide me a lot of stuff to make my life easier, and making my life less dependent on other people. But the fact I can't take is, he never, NEVER teach me about anything. Especially about life. Yeah its good to learn it all by yourself. But, I never satisfied with all what I've got. The knowledge that I have. Because its not from my own father.

My knowledge in computer. Its not very good nor very bad. But it's enough to beat up shit from my friend who learned it all from his dad. But I never feel it good, or proud or whatever else thing people should feel when successfully beat up other people. Why? Because I never learned it from my dad, and I blame it all to my dad. Ok, my dad knows a shit about this stuff, but at least, can't he just try?

Yes, I just realize it all. Lately, because of my stupid freaking brain prob, I thinking a lot, seriously A LOT. And it just come to my mind about why I never satisfied with all I've got and I now I know it why. Damn its freaky to be like me to think a lot like this. Seriously.. Ok, get to go now, I've got a match to follow up, and class to catch up tomorrow morning.

it already more than a year i haven't write a single thing here. A lots happen and that really changed me much. Well, my physical maybe doesn't changed much (err, yeah, i gained a little weight) but my mental, emotion, inner side of me, or whatever else changed a lot. Maybe some of you guys can noticed some of it but I don't think its very obvious, as I'm still being myself. And as you guys know, i don't write much as i hate it ( the main reason i created a blog coz im a lonely guy that desperately need to express my expression and that make me look like a horny guy ) so i just listed out what happened and what i gain in this year

• i got a new ipod
• i got a new headphone and a new in ear earphone for my ipod
• i got a new PC (Dell, better than nothing)
• i got a new car! (Proton Saga LMST 1.3 manual)
• i lose RM40,000 in HYIP (doesn't matter, i already got my car)
• im in a new college (the third one.. and hopefully the last
• i have a new hobby > collecting matric card from various university (so far i got 3)
• i've got a mental prob(seriously!) > that's how i got that new hobby

ok, maybe you guys think I'm bluffing about the mental problem part, and actually I'm not very sure about it, but, do you guys ever experienced this situation? like waking up in the moning and blood is everywhere on your hand? freaky is it? well, that's happen to me now, but that's nothing compared to this, forgetting about everything in 30 minutes, i stuck in a car knowing nothing about driving at all, damn, that's really freaking me out. My parent know nothing about this as im the one request to change my study place twice ( and damn, that was a really damn stupid move, and i regretting about it now) but i think they already suspecting something from me. Seriously, all this thing freaking me out. I don't care if you guys saying me an attention whore or lying bastard what-so-ever coz this thing not happenin to you but ME god damn it. And because of this, I hating my dad more than ever, and I'll story about it later coz now, I really don't have much idea left to write.